


Three Days

by orphan_account



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Drabble Collection, Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-06-26 08:15:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19764172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Cute little drabble series about the Doctor being *a bit* negligent of common sense.





	1. Introduction

The Doctor had told her that the bladder of a Time Lord takes approx. 3 days to fill up. They both agreed on the convenience of this. The _inconvenience_ was the fact that it wasn't exactly easy for the Doctor to keep track of these days, at least not with the life he leads.


	2. Going before you leave (applies also to Time Lords)

Rose walked into the console room finding the Doctor waiting for her by the door.

"Ready to go?" he asked chipperly.

"Sure. Are you?" she asked him back.

"I'm always ready! Allons-y!" the Doctor cheered, going to open the door. Rose cleared her throat to advise him.

"Speaking of _going_ , did you pop to the loo?" she checked, perceptively.

"No, don't need to yet," he scoffed mildly at the question.

"How many days have it been?" Rose then asked.

"Little over 2 days. I'm fine, still," he replied confidently.

"So, we'll hit 3 days, _during_ the trip. Then, might as well get it out of the way now, right?" Rose hinted.

Seeing the logic, the Doctor ran off down the corridor.


	3. Subtlety vs Secrecy

The Doctor shuffled audibly in the near-silent waiting room, leaning forward with impatience.

"Loo's right over there," Rose informed him, pointing to the door, and raising an eyebrow as she wondered why he was just sitting there.

"I know," he muttered, ignoring the statement.

"Then why don't you go? The _other_ Doctor won't be here for a few minutes," she pointed out.

"It's too quiet. People are just reading. If I get up, they'll _notice_ ," the Doctor explained with disdain.

"No, they won't. Not really," she attempted to reassure him.

"I'd prefer not at all," he balked, huffing indignantly.

Rose proceeded to get out her smartphone and call her mum.

[Rose]- _Hi, mum! We're just sitting in the waiting room at the Doctor's, our Doctor's got a cold!_

She made sure to speak loudly enough on the phone for a few other people to get disgruntled.

[Jackie]- _Oh, poor skinny thing. Maybe I'll send over some tea, how's he handling it?_

[Rose]- _He's.. alright. Got over his distaste for human medical professionals quickly enough. Though, I think tea's the last thing he wants right now.._

At this offhanded comment, delivered with a smirk, the Doctor turned his head, like a deer caught in headlights. Though, he wasn't caught out yet..

[Jackie]- _What'd you mean by that?_

"Good question.." Rose began, preparing her blackmail.

This was when she gave the Doctor a kindly threatening look, suggesting that he was using the loo, one way or another. Jackie knowing being the other way. He was instantly on his feet, hurrying in the door just a few feet away. He did find she was right, it wasn't particularly more embarrassing peeing in there, despite the proximity.


	4. Ood and the Loo

Donna and the Doctor were walking through the crystal snow landscape of the planet they had landed on, the former wearing a large winter coat. 

After a moment, the Doctor suddenly shook his shoulders, as if he was shivering. 

“You getting cold too? You should close your coat properly,” Donna suggested.

“Oh, no it’s not that,” he replied.

“What is it then?”

The Doctor made a small noise of frustration, looking around and then at Donna.

“Well..it’s just..” the Doctor hesitated, blushing slightly.

Donna shot him a concerned look.

“I _was_ sort of planning to use the loo before we left,” he explained with an awkward side-shrug.

“Oh right. Yeah, I suppose that does make sense. Sorry, didn’t occur to me, you know ´cause you’re an alien,” Donna apologised.

“What, so you thought I don’t pee?” The Doctor questioned with amusement.

“Well, you didn’t _go_ the whole time we were together, the first time we met,” Donna pointed out.

“Right, no I did _not,_ ” the Doctor’s blush widened, as he remembered the circumstances that he technically put on himself.

“Did you need to?” Donna asked, getting confused.

“Yes, quite extremely, in fact,” the Doctor confirmed with a small smirk.

“Ooh, that couldn’t have been easy..” the Doctor nodded. “Wait a minute..what about at the party?” Donna asked.

“Didn’t know where the loo was. Didn’t fancy asking anyone. Plus, if I left to go find it, you’d have noticed,” the Doctor explained.

Donna was about to respond, when she noticed the Doctor was hopping on the spot, and remembered what started the conversation. 

“What, like how I just _now_ noticed your little dance?” Donna said, with a sympathetic smile. 

The Doctor got an annoyed expression as the discomfort returned. 

“Don’t worry, easy fix” she patted his arm reassuringly. “Just find a good spot in the snow somewhere,” Donna suggested. 

The Doctor looked at her with apprehension.

“What’s the problem?”

He put his arms behind his back swaying while looking at the ground shyly, unsure how to ask her.

“Need me to turn around? Sure, no problem,” Donna turned around.

“Just remember how far it is to civilisation or the TARDIS,” Donna pointed out to convince him. 

“Good point, the Doctor muttered, walking away. He stopped slightly to the left, and proceeded to pee, sighing in relief, as he’d been holding it for almost an hour now.

“Ah, that’s much better. Molto bene,” the Doctor cheered as he walked back to Donna.

“Good on you. Blimey, you really **do** have an alien bladder,” Donna remarked. The Doctor nodded. 

“Now, I’ve got to correct you. I wouldn’t have noticed you sneaking off back at my party. It was my wedding. Respectfully, you were invisible until you started going off about dangerous Christmas trees,” Donna informed him. 

“That couldn’t possibly have occurred to me. I don’t do weddings often,” the Doctor noted.

“Wait, then why didn’t you go in for Christmas dinner with me?” Donna asked. 

“I didn’t really know you, much less your family and asking for the loo right away would’ve been really embarrassing.” the Doctor replied. 

“Hey, you’ve met my mum. She’s really nice once she gets some turkey in her. And my grandpa Wilf, is obsessed with aliens, always looking at the stars, when he’s not working his shop,” Donna told the Doctor. 

“Ah, well, my past is fixed just like Pompeii, I was fine in the end. What kind of shop does your grandfather run?” He asked with interest.

“A newsagent. You know, last Christmas, he said a bloke in a suit came by, asked about aliens, then vanished out of thin air!” Donna laughed. The Doctor realised who she was talking about.

“Wait a sec.. that was me!! I’ve met Wilf! Clever bloke,” the Doctor explained with a smile. 

“See? It would’ve been fine. And trust me, I’d have asked if you needed to go the second we stepped in the door,” Donna stated kindly.

The Doctor nodded, and then got distracted by a loud wailing song from a nearby wounded Ood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Want to see more?** Leave a prompt (word or _short_ description, ) in the comments below!


	5. Why the Doctor doesn't like hospitals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor explains his biology, but slips up when mentioning days. Introducing, Martha Jones, Time Lord urologist..

Shakespeare stopped, _once more_ on the way to Bedlam.

“Oh, what is it now?” the Doctor half-muttered. 

“I just need to drain the ol’ ink pot,” Will explained with a humorous metaphor. “Anyone else feel a tinkle tingling?”

Martha graciously accepted, as she had apparently forgotten to go before breakfast. She turned to the Doctor. 

“Oh, no need. I'll just wait here,” he assured her with a dismissive shrug. 

Martha raised an eyebrow sceptically. 

“Are you sure?” she asked again, wondering if he was hiding a need.

“I went this morning,” the Doctor lied, as the proper explanation would be his _alien_ biology. 

* * *

After Shakespeare revealed that he knew Martha was from the future, and the Doctor was an alien, and impressively, didn’t seem to mind, Martha decided to address her curiosity. 

“Now that Shakespeare knows about us, let me ask you something about yesterday,” she began. 

“On the way to Bedlam, you declined the toilet break, and you said you went in the morning, but I know you didn’t. We went down to breakfast together, remember?” she pointed out. 

“Oh, right. I went during the night.” the Doctor admitted plainly. 

“But that still doesn’t account for _supposedly_ not needing to go 5 hours later,” Martha continued. 

“But my alien biology, does. I only need the loo once every 3 days. Last time was 2 days before checking in at the hospital.” the Doctor explained, _not realising what he just said._

“Wait. **2** days before the hospital?” Martha noticed how it added up.

“That means you’d have needed to go around the time we first met,” she confronted the Doctor. 

He blushed and winced, as he realised that he’d put his foot in his mouth. 

“Weeell, I _did_ need to go about the same time as I absorbed all that radiation. I didn’t actually _have to_ expel it through my shoe, it went straight into my bladder immediately, as that is the most natural way to get rid off something.” the Doctor admitted. 

“So, why didn’t you just keep it there then, go to the toilet, like your body wanted?” Martha asked kindly. 

“You were _there_. It would’ve been really _embarrassing_ to admit to you I needed the loo, “ the Doctor explained, his blush widening. 

“Well, don’t use that as an excuse later, alright? I’m a Doctor, I’ve seen worse than people needing to _go.._ It’s natural,” she assured him. 

“Heck, my audience _goes_ all over the theatre floor!” Shakespeare added in agreement. 

the Doctor just waved dismissively at Shakespeare, rolling his eyes at Medieval bathroom norms, before simply looking awkwardly at the ground, swaying with his arms behind his back shyly, and hesitantly. Tilting his head unsurely, he met Doctor Jones’ strict, but caring eyes and nodded, as a manner of promising to follow her advice. _Well, sort of.._


	6. Potty Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose's final measure.

“Don’t forget to go to the loo,” Rose reminded the Doctor before he reached the TARDIS doors.

“For the last time, I’m fine. My bladder’s massive,” he argued.

“You will still need to go eventually. Better safe than sorry,” Rose instructed.

The Doctor ran obediently down the hall. But he didn’t go to the loo. He simply got far enough out of her sight, and waited the necessary minutes. He was  _ not _ going to let her treat him like a toddler. It’s his body. 

“All good! Come on, Allons-y!” the Doctor lied, cheering Rose towards their next adventure. Which happened to be a nice stroll in the park.

The Doctor frowned slightly as his bladder called for his attention. He attempted to discreetly look around for a toilet without moving his head. But when he slipped up once, Rose got suspicious of his circular ogling.

“Are you looking for the loo?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“No! Just, trying to find some ducks..” the Doctor lied.

* * *

They took a seat on a bench overlooking a small pond. The Doctor eventually crossed his legs and jiggled his knees obviously.

“It’s alright if you need the loo, you know,” Rose assured him. Then she remembered what she told him earlier. 

“Hold on, didn’t you go in the TARDIS?” she narrowed her eyes at him.

“No,” the Doctor admitted quietly. 

Rose made several expressions of exasperation at his stupidity.

“Come on, let’s get your bladder sorted,” Rose stood up, waving for the Doctor to follow her. As soon as he stood, a spasm forced him to begin walking with his hand in his crotch.

“Can’t..hold on..much longer,” the Doctor grunted anxiously as he felt his muscles loosen. 

Rose found a secluded patch of moss next to the lake and suggested he go on it. With Rose waiting behind a large fern, the Doctor successfully relieved himself. 

“Why do you keep doing this?” she questioned his repetitive behaviour of risking an accident, even if they never happened.

“It’s not my fault that my bladder has no sense of convenient timing,” the Doctor defended himself.

“That’s just your biology, timing your trips to the toilet for convenience is on you,” Rose countered.

The Doctor huffed indignantly.

* * *

Rose came into the console room holding an odd sort of wrist-watch.

“What’s that?” the Doctor asked her curiously.

“It’s a special clock I had synced up with the TARDIS. When you go to the loo, the clock starts a countdown to 3 days, and alerts you  _ the next time _ you should go, at which point you will  _ go, _ no arguments,” Rose explained strictly.

“It’s a potty-training watch,” the Doctor noted bitterly. 

“In a way, yes. You do seem to need some extra toilet lessons,” Rose remarked with a smirk.

She threw him the watch and looked at him expectantly, silently commanding him to wear it. 

“And, from now on, I’m escorting you to the loo before we go anywhere, making sure that you go, even if you only end up weeing  _ a little bit _ ,” Rose explained. “Don’t worry, only when I think you’re getting close to the 3 days,” she made sure to add. 

The Doctor smiled as he found that she was right. He was getting sick of “close calls”. 

  
“You’re right. Let’s do it. Whatever works,” the Doctor surrendered to her idea.

*********************

The Doctor found himself much happier with the watch. He stopped needing to go during the entirety of even their most long-winded, sometimes captivity-including adventures. He felt much more confident about finding a loo in public, since the watch alerted him at the  _ beginning _ of his need, so they always had time, and there was never any more close calls. The Doctor even felt okay asking strangers he met whilst  _ separated _ from Rose, where the loo was. And all was  _ Fantastic _ . The End.


End file.
